Sunday, February 28, 2010

R.L. STINE BOOK OF THE WEEK: Goosebumps: Monster Blood II

He's one hungry hamster!

From the back cover:


Evan Ross can't stop thinking about Monster Blood and what happened last summer. It was so horrible. So terrifying. Too bad Evan's science teacher doesn't believe him. Now he's stuck cleaning out the hamster's cage for making up stories.

Then Evan's friend Andy comes to town, and things go from bad to worse. Because Andy's got a present for Evan. It's green and slimy and it's starting to grow....

My thoughts:

I was not looking forward to reading this Goosebumps book at all after reading the first Monster Blood last week and hating it. Well, I was right to be apprehensive because the sequel is worse than the first book.

The plot is almost identical to the first book, but a hamster grows bigger instead of a dog. And Evan moved at the end of the first book, so R.L. made Andy move in with her Aunt while her parents live overseas for a year. Once again nothing happens until the last few chapters. Actually, more stuff happens in the first book. At least the Monster Blood kept growing bigger and turned into a blob at the end. In Monster Blood II, Evan and Andy bury it and nothing really happens until they feed some to Cuddles (the hamster).

Usually I don't give major spoilers in my reviews but maybe telling everyone the ending will deter you from ever reading this garbage. All of a sudden the hamster and Evan return to their normal size. Why? It turns out there is an expiry date on the can of Monster Blood, which is the current date. Bravo, R.L., what a clever way to get Evan and Cuddles out of this jam. I threw the book on the GROUND. I'M AN ADULT! I shouldn't be reading this crap, man. Well, not really, there was still another chapter left, so I finished it, found out that Andy's parents sent her more Monster Blood, Cuddles ate some more, and then I threw it on the ground.

Oh and R.L. milked this plot for two more books, which you will never read reviews for on this blog. I think I have already suffered enough.

Rating: 1/5

PG Gore: "The hamster lowered its hot, furry body over him. Evan could feel the creature's booming heartbeat as it pressed him to the floor.

Then its teeth rose up over Evan's head.

The hamster's mouth opened wide.

The teeth swung down.

A wave of hot, sour hamster breath blew down over Evan.

He shut his eyes.

"Sorry," he murmured to Andy.

He held his breath and waited for the teeth to clamp down."

Published in: 1994

Evident by references to: Michael Jordan

Next week: Fear Street: Bad Moonlight


tj said...

Good. Because it only gets worse form here. MB 3 was ok but MB 4 was.......Not very good.

Melissa Helwig said...

Yeah I kind of figured as much. Glad I'm not missing anything.

tj said...

Next time you do a Goosebumps Book,do a good one. I suggest Welcome To Dead House or The Haunted Mask. (You'll have alot of fun with the PG gore for the former)

I still believe you LIKED Abominable Snowman of Pasadena.

Don't worry there's a Goosebumps that covered every book the original series so If you are still curious about MB 4 then check it out:

Melissa Helwig said...

Thanks for the suggestions. I'll try one of those soon.

And thanks for the link. That's a very detailed and hilarious blog. Looks like I'm not missing much in the other Monster Blood books.

Oh and what's wrong with Abominable Snowman of Pasadena? :P