MOVIE REVIEW: Scream 4

I was only nine when the first Scream film came out in 1996. I'll never forget the first time I watched it. I rented it with my family and my dad had to leave during the movie to pick up my uncle. My mom, my brother and I were too scared to be left alone, so we piled in the car with him.

The first scene got under my skin, particularly when Casey says "I'm two seconds away from calling the police!" and Ghostface replies "They'll never make it in time." Which is a disturbing thought, especially since I lived in the middle of nowhere at the time.

After watching Scream, I became obsessed with it. In addition to watching it enough times to recite the dialogue, I did other obsessive things. At the time, my hair was very long and I got it cut into a bob, just like Drew Barrymore in the movie. I invented a game called "Scream" which I played with my friends and was basically just hide and seek except the seeker would "kill" you when found. And I had to go see Scream 3 in the theatre, which was a big deal for me because I rarely watched movies in the theatre as a child (I don't know where I was for Scream 2). I was only 12 at the time, so my best friend and I had to go with her grandpa and I felt like a baby, but I didn't care because I wanted see Scream 3 that badly.

So, 11 years after I sat in a theatre and watched Sidney Prescott try to get on with her life in the aftermath of the Woodsboro murders, I was psyched to do it all over again. And it was great to revisit Woodsboro and catch up with the characters. Sidney's just as tough as I remember, kicking ass against Ghostface, Dewey is just as dumb and Gale is just as bitchy and ruthless, doing whatever it takes to catch the killer.

Sidney (Neve Campbell) seems to have pieced her life back together and has written a self-help memoir, Out of the Darkness. She returns to Woodsboro for her book tour, on the anniversary of the murders. Meanwhile, Sidney's cousin, Jill (Emma Roberts), begins getting sinister prank calls. And then the murders begin. Sheriff Dewey (David Arquette) is on the case and his wife, Gale (Courtney Cox), is there to help.

While Scream 4 isn't as good as the first Scream film, it comes close and is definitely better than the other sequels. It has more gore than the previous movies - probably more than all of them combined. And more humour than the others, making me - and the rest of the audience - laugh out loud several times.

Scream 4 is more like a reboot than a sequel. Instead of focusing on Sidney, the storyline follows the new generation of teens, which are very similar to the original cast. There's Jill, the good girl (Sidney), Trevor, the creepy boyfriend (Billy), Kirby, Jill's hot best friend (Tatum) and Charlie, horror movie fanatic (Randy). This is probably the only aspect of the film that disappointed me. I was expecting the film to centre around Sidney, Dewey and Gale, and instead it's about a whole new set of characters. But the film is still entertaining and still includes Sid, Dewey and Gale, even if it doesn't revolve around them.

The film boasts an impressive cast, including appearances by Hayden Panettiere (Heroes), Rory Culkin (Signs), Erik Knudsen (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World), Adam Brody (The O.C.), Anthony Anderson (Urban Legends: Final Cut), Alison Brie (Community), Anna Paquin (True Blood), Kristin Bell (Veronica Mars), Shenae Grimes (90210), Lucy Hale (Pretty Little Liars), in addition to the actors I've already mentioned.

Scream 4 is a lot of fun and has everything you've come to expect from a film in the Scream franchise: a shocking opening sequence, creepy phone calls, a surprising ending and lots of self-referential horror humour. Definitely a must-see for Scream fans.

Rating: 4/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Return to Sleepaway Camp

Sleepaway Camp is one of my favourite horror films. So when I found out Robert Hiltzik, the writer/director of the first film, was making a sequel which would star Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten and Paul DeAngelo (Angela, Ricky and Ronnie, in the first film) I was thrilled. So thrilled that I waited two years until it came on TV so I could watch it for free.

I read several negative reviews of Return to Sleepaway Camp prior to watching it, which is one of the reasons I waited so long to see it. I ended up enjoying it a bit more than everyone else - probably because I lowered my expectations so much. But it's still not a great film or comparable to the first Sleepaway Camp.

It's summertime at Camp Manabe - formerly Camp Arawak - and a series of unfortunate "accidents" take place, causing co-owner Ronnie to suspect that Angela Baker is back to continue the gory murders she started 20 years ago.

The main character, Alan, was so irritating I just wanted him to die a slow and painful death the entire time he was onscreen. Alan was an immature asshole who was constantly whining about everybody picking on him. But everyone only teased Alan because he was a jerk, so it was impossible to emphasize with him. In the beginning of the film, I thought Alan was going to die first because he was so annoying and everyone hated him. Sadly, I was wrong.

The film doesn't focus on any of the other characters. When some of them were killed off I didn't even remember seeing them earlier. And all of the campers looked like they were 18, while all the counselors looked like they were 30.

The death scenes were pretty creative, but in order to happen the characters had to be unfathomably stupid (after seeing a sharp stick poke through a hole in the floor, one brilliant character decides to peer through the hole for five minutes), which took the fun out of them.

I already knew the "twist" ending because it is revealed on the Return to Sleepaway Camp IMDb page. But it's obvious, and I (hopefully) would've figured it out quickly, had I not already known what it was. I didn't expect this film to include a surprise ending though. The first film already had one of the most shocking endings I've ever seen and I don't know what other surprising secrets could be revealed about Angela.

The most exciting aspect of the film is also the biggest letdown. Felissa Rose reprises her role as Angela but she's only onscreen for a few minutes at the end of the film! Same with Jonathan Tiersten, who stars once again as Ricky, but is only in a few brief scenes. And the late Issac Hayes (voice of Chef in South Park) appears in his last role as Charlie the Chef. Which was awesome, except for the fact that he was barely in the film either.

Okay, all I've done in this review is bitch even though I've already stated that I didn't hate the film. And I didn't - it mildly entertained me, so I'm going to give it a 3/5. But I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, unless you lower your expectations as far as they will go, like I did.

Robert Hiltzick is currently making a 3D follow-up to this film, Sleepaway Camp Reunion, which stars Alexis Bledel (Rory from Gilmore Girls!) and will be released in late 2010 or early 2011. It will show the return of Aunt Martha as well as Angela and Ricky Baker.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Bloody Mary (Horror Collector's Set Part 1)

The Easter Bunny left this DVD in my Easter basket this year. And he left the Wal-Mart sticker on it, so I know it only cost $5.00, which I think is a steal for four films...well depending on how good they are.... The DVD is called "Horror Collector's Set" and it includes Wages of Sin, Mortuary, Memory and Bloody Mary. This week I plan on watching and reviewing all of them. There are several other DVDs in this series of 4-pack horror films which you can view here.

I watched Bloody Mary first because I wanted to see how it compared to Dead Mary, another film that borrows the Bloody Mary legend, which I watched last week. It is much worse, which is saying something because I didn't enjoy Dead Mary much.

When Natalie's sister, Nicole, disappears, she starts her own investigation leading her to something called "The Mirror Game," which supposedly summons Bloody Mary. Could it have something to do with Nicole's disappearance?

The plot of Bloody Mary is cliched and dull. I don't know why they keep making movies with the Bloody Mary legend, because it has already been done so many times. If you're going to make a film using Bloody Mary, at least give it an original spin, like Candyman or the Biggie Smalls episode of South Park.


The only character I could keep straight was Natalie (maybe because she was a brunette), all of Nicole's friends were blonde sorority girls and they all looked identical to me. And the acting is atrocious. Usually I don't even notice bad acting thanks to a lifetime of B movies, soap operas and teenybopper dramas on the WB, but I could barely stand to watch these people "act." They show no emotion.

But the worst part of this film is the gratuitous nudity. I'm not new to horror movies and I know they all show naked women, but in Bloody Mary the reasoning behind it is just absurd. I already mentioned how the girls play "The Mirror Game," but I never explained what it entails. The girl in question has to strip buck naked and then repeat "I believe in Bloody Mary" in the mirror. Why do they have to be naked? "Because that's how it's done," explains Blonde #1. But I have a better reason: because they needed an excuse for them to get naked.

The gore is the only descent part of this film, featuring gouged eyeballs and mirrors exploding in people's faces. But I never watch a film just to see gore, so I would recommend skipping this one.

Rating: 1/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Rob Zombie's Halloween II

A few years ago when asked if he was going to make a Halloween II remake (or a sequel to his Halloween remake), Rob Zombie replied, "I'm done. I did what I wanted to do, I came in and I made a movie that I thought was a self-contained film and now I'm walking away." And I wish he had. Halloween was an okay remake, but Halloween II is a godawful piece of trash and insult to the original Halloween II (which I love).

After surviving Michael Myers' killing spree, Laurie Strode is trying to get on with her life but is still pretty shaken up. Dr. Loomis has written a book about Michael and is on tour promoting it. And Michael is having visions of his dead mother, who tells him to bring Laurie home.

Near the beginning of the movie, there is a creepy scene where Laurie is in a hospital after her battle with Michael Myers, much like the original Halloween II. It goes on for about 15 minutes and then Laurie wakes up. I despise dream sequences and think they're a waste of time because they add nothing to the plot. At this point I wanted to turn it off and I should've because it was the only creepy scene in the whole film.

I hated all the characters in the film, especially Laurie and Dr. Loomis. They were completely different in this film than in the first one. Laurie is an irritating whiner and I wanted her to die. Dr. Loomis is leeching off Michael's notoriety and actually believes that he's dead! Where's the Dr. Loomis who is obsessed with finding Michael and keeping him locked up of the original Halloween films? You might as well not have Dr. Loomis in the film if he's just going to be a moneygrubbing douche.

Oh wait, I forgot the worst character in the movie: Deborah Myers (Sheri Moon Zombie). Just because she's your wife doesn't mean you have to put her in EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of your movies, Rob Zombie. She died in the first movie! Those stupid visions of her with long, white hair wearing a long, white dress, walking with a white horse made no sense and were completely pointless.

The characters even looked awful. Michael Myers looked like a beefed up version of Rob Zombie and was not scary at all and Laurie had horrid dreadlocks.

As much as I enjoyed House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects I don't know if I'll give Rob Zombie another chance after this piece of crap. Who I am kidding, I probably will watch more of his films - when they air on T.V. for free.

Rating: 1/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Cherry Falls

In memory of Brittany Murphy, I am reviewing one of my favourite films she starred in, Cherry Falls.

When a serial killer preys on teenage virgins in the small town of Cherry Falls, the teens decide to save themselves by having sex. But Jody (Brittany Murphy), the town sheriff's daughter, still wants her first time to be special. So instead she tries to find the killer herself and stumbles upon a dark secret involving some of Cherry Falls' most prominent citizens.

The plot of Cherry Falls takes one of the horror movie rules - virgins are the only survivors - and turns it on its head. It is a bit similar to Scream (especially in the first scene when a girl is nailed to a tree, like Drew Barrymore's character being hung from a tree in the opening scene of Scream), but there are still enough differences so it isn't a complete rip-off. I never came close to figuring out who the killer was and I was shocked when I found out the motive as well.

Most of the characters are smarter than the usual horror movie teens, taking matters into their own hands, holding a "Pop Your Cherry Ball" to lose their virginity so they don't become prey for the killer. And the acting is superb; Murphy plays a smart brunette, which is a change from some of her bubbly, blonde characters (like in Uptown Girls or Just Married).

The pace is a bit slow. After the initial kill scene, there isn't another for awhile. Overall, there aren't many deaths in the film and when they finally are shown, there is little blood or gore. But I was never bored because of the snappy dialogue and interesting plot and characters. Here are a few funny quotes:

"We're talking hymen holocaust here!"

"Hail, hail, Virgin High, drop your pants, it's fuck or die!"

"This is my post; I just can't split!" (Followed by his head being split in half)

Although somewhat of a Scream rip-off, Cherry Falls is a slasher with funny dialogue and a fresh twist on slasher conventions.

MOVIE REVIEW: Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

Yesterday, I reviewed Silent Night, Deadly Night and I mentioned how I had seen this sequel before it, which is mostly comprised of clips from the first film. I didn't mind the first time I watched it because I had yet to watch the original, but when you watch them back to back it's pretty irritating. But that just seems to add to the fact that this may be one of the best bad movies I've ever seen.

Ricky (little brother of Billy from the first film) is being interviewed by his new psychiatrist on Christmas Eve. He tells him the story of how his brother went crazy and how witnessing his parents being killed by Santa drove him mad as well, even though he was just a baby when it happened (when "Doc" questions how he remembers this, Ricky replies, "Because. I was there."). And of course Ricky escapes from the mental hospital to punish the naughty.

Everything about Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is horrible: the plot, the acting, the dialogue, etc. And that is what makes it one of the best horror films I have ever seen.

Eric Freeman (Ricky) is possibly the worst (therefore best) actor ever. He raises his eyebrows every time he utters a word and has the craziest, funniest facial expressions.

The dialogue is hilarious, just look at these gems:

"You tend to get paranoid when everyone around you gets dead."

"What do you dream about, Ricky?"
"I. Don't. Sleep."

"You are being very very naughty."
"Naughty this!"

And of course there's the infamous "Garbage Day!" scene.

All the death scenes from the first film are featured, so you can pretty much just skip that one, unless you want to see the hilarious montage which I posted in yesterday's review. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is hilarious and I highly recommend it to anyone who loves cheesy 80's horror movies. Sometimes the bad movies are better than the good movies.

Rating: 5/5

Garbage Daaaay!

MOVIE REVIEW: Silent Night, Deadly Night

I had already seen Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 before I watched this, therefore I had already seen half of this film since the sequel is mostly made up of flashbacks from it. But it was still entertaining to watch.

It's Christmas Eve and Billy and his family are visiting Billy's catatonic grandfather. When the two are left alone together, Grandpa snaps out of it to tell little Billy that if you were naughty Santa won't just skip the presents, he will punish you. This terrifies Billy and on the way home when they see a man on the side of the road dressed as Santa, he begs his parents not to pull over. But of course they don't listen and it results in their deaths while Billy watches. This, along with abuse from a sadistic nun at the orphanage, drives Billy crazy. At age 18, he reaches his breaking point on Christmas Eve when he has to dress as Santa at the toy store he works at and goes on a killing spree.

Like its sequel, most of this film falls under the "So bad it's good" category, with several scenes making me laugh out loud. Such as the montage with Billy working at the toy store; showing him punching his time card, his boss nodding in approval when he puts something back in its place and when being offered booze, shaking his head and holding up his carton of milk. But I found the opening scene to be genuinely disturbing. And although there wasn't much blood or gore, the deaths were unique and there were a lot of them.

The character development was good when it came to Billy, showing all the traumatic events he endured to gradually turn him into a psycho. But you never really get to know the other characters.

The only thing I didn't like about this movie was all the things the characters did that made absolutely no sense. Why did Billy rip off a guy's shirt before tossing him out the window? Why would a woman open the door topless and stand there for five minutes?

Even though sometimes the characters were stupid and irritating (what horror movie doesn't feature characters like that?), Silent Night, Deadly Night is funny and, in a few scenes, creepy with unique murders. Definitely one to watch this holiday season.

Rating: 4/5

And now for your viewing pleasure, the hilarious montage:

MOVIE REVIEW: Christmas Evil

I finally watched Christmas Evil, which seems to be on everyone's Christmas horror list, for the first time today. It wasn't as good as I was expecting it to be, but it got me into the Christmas spirit.

A young boy, Harry, sees his mommy with Santa Claus - and they're not just kissing. Naturally, he is traumatized by this (who wouldn't be traumatized by seeing their parents...doing stuff together...except the only thing Santa does is run his hands up mommy's thighs...). I suppose he's just traumatized by finding out that Santa isn't real. Anyway, this scars him for life and years later he works in a toy factory and is gradually going crazy. And on Christmas Eve, he reaches his breaking point and transforms himself into Santa, delivering presents to good children and has something very special for the naughty adults.

The pace of this film was pretty slow. Nothing really happens until halfway through the movie, except for Harry's descent into madness, shown by lots of crazy laughter and other odd behaviour. And when the murders happen, there are only a few of them, shown in two brief scenes, with very little gore.

Harry is portrayed as a good guy for most of the movie (albeit a bit whacko), stealing toys from the toy factory where he works to give to sick kids in the hospital and always being nice to the neighbourhood kids (except the naughty ones), etc. And I ended up really liking him, even though he's a psycho, and feeling sorry for him. Brandon Maggart (father of Fiona Apple!) does an amazing job as Harry, making me feel empathy for him and playing a believable psycho at the same time.

Christmas Evil was Christmas-y in a different way than the previous Christmas movies I've reviewed. It's about the true spirit of Christmas - giving. Harry steals from the greedy toy factory to give to children who will be in the hospital for Christmas. Even the people he kills are selfish, greedy jerks.

Although it was slow and didn't have many kills or any gore, Christmas Evil gets you in the Christmas spirit and makes you want to give, which is pretty good for a horror movie.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Santa's Slay

I mentioned buying this DVD from the Keady Market in the summer. I've been saving it to watch just before Christmas.

16-year-old Nick (Douglas Smith) hates Christmas because he has never had a good one. And this one isn't going to be any different because Santa (Bill Goldberg) is killing everyone in sight - not just the naughty. When Nick tries to figure out how to stop him, his crazy grandpa (Robert Culp) gives him The Book of Claus. The book explains that Santa is the son of Satan and was conceived through immaculate conception, just like Jesus. And that Christmas was known as "The Day of Slaying" until 1005 AD, when Santa lost a curling match to an angel and was sentenced to deliver presents for 1000 years. Now, in 2005, Santa is free to kill again and it's up to Nick, his friend/coworker/potential girlfriend Mary (Emilie de Ravin) and Nick's grandpa to stop him.

The plot was original compared to other killer Santa films. Instead of having some psycho dressed up as Santa killing people, we have the real Santa - who is Satan's son - slaughtering people.

Both the best and worst part of Santa's Slay was the humour. At times the dialogue was hilarious and at others the jokes just fell flat. But it was funny more often than not. My favourite scene was the opening featuring James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan and Rebecca Gayheart, where Santa comes down the chimney and kills the whole family.

This film wasn't quite as Christmas-y as the last film I watched (Black X-mas), seeing as how the main character hated Christmas, but there were a lot of holiday-related objects used to kill including a candy cane, exploding presents, a menorah and Santa's "hell-deer". And it has a soundtrack filled with Christmas music.

Santa's Slay is a fun and unique take on a killer Santa that will have you laughing - most of the time.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Black X-mas

I don't understand why classic horror films are constantly being remade. If a movie is already scary and everyone loves it, why make a new, crappier version? But what I really don't understand is why I keep watching them....

Actually, Black X-mas isn't the worst remake I've ever seen. It's pretty entertaining.

It's Christmas Eve and many of the girls in the Delta Alpha Kappa sorority will be spending Christmas there. While exchanging Christmas gifts, they begin receiving prank phone calls and when Kelli's (Katie Cassidy) boyfriend, Kyle (Oliver Hudson), suddenly shows up, all the girls believe he's the one behind them. But when he tells them the story of Billy - the boy who used to live there and went crazy after his mother kept him locked up in the attic and killed his family - they start to believe that maybe he has come home for Christmas.

The plot is similar to the original Black Christmas, but has many differences. There is a lot of back story on the killer, Billy, whereas there was virtually none in the original. The problem between the main character and her boyfriend gets a 00's update with her watching an x-rated home movie of him and one of her sorority sisters on the internet.

Another major difference between the two films is the characters. The girl who is supposed to play Margot Kidder's part ends up being an irritating pukey drunk who isn't half as funny as Kidder was in the original. The main character, Kelli, is very bland compared to Olivia Hussey. And although it features Andrea Martin (Phyllis in the orignal) as the housemother, she doesn't compare to Mrs. Mac. All the girls in the sorority are uninteresting, cookie-cutter stereotypes.

But the acting is great and showcases a lot of young talent: Katie Cassidy (the new Melrose Place, When a Stranger Calls), Michelle Trachtenberg (Gossip Girl, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Oliver Hudson (Rules of Engagement, The Breed), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Final Destination 3, The Ring Two), Lacey Chabert (Party of Five, Mean Girls), Crystal Lowe (Wrong Turn 2, Final Destiantion 3) and Kristin Cloke (Final Destination, Willard).

Although it doesn't live up to the original, it does have some creepy moments. My favourite scene is when Billy makes Christmas cookies from his mother's flesh.

And if you're looking for a very Christmas-y horror film you've found it. With the house decked out - tinsel everywhere, a wreath on every door, a huge Christmas tree and tons of lights on the outside of the house. Christmas-related objects are used for murder - a sharpened candy cane, an icicle, Christmas lights, etc. And lots of talk of Christmas traditions and a soundtrack with many Christmas songs.

The DVD has a lot of Special Features - an entire second DVD devoted to them. Including four alternate endings, deleted scenes and a featurette titled What Have You Done? The Remaking of Black Christmas, where I learned that the director of the original, Bob Clark, was a producer of this movie.

Overall, the Black Christmas remake has its moments and gets you in the Christmas spirit without resorting to watching something like It's a Wonderful Life.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Satan's Little Helper

Tonight is Devil's Night, so I'm going to review a movie about the "Devil", Satan's Little Helper.

Dougie is a 9-year-old boy obsessed with a video game called Satan's Little Helper, in which he helps Satan send people to Hell. He's so obsessed with the game that he wants to find Satan for real so he can become his helper. Dougie is also in love with his older sister, Jenna, and is jealous when she brings a new boyfriend, Alex, home for Halloween. But when Dougie actually finds Satan he'll make sure that he sends Alex to Hell.

This is a really fun movie directed by Jeff Lieberman (Just Before Dawn). I burst out laughing quite a few times. I loved "Satan"; how he never said anything so instead he made elaborate hand gestures and his costume. And how Dougie thought that he was living out his video game was pretty funny (when he hits a pregnant woman with a shopping cart he yells "50 points!").

One thing I hated about Satan's Little Helper was the irritating kid. He's nine years old yet he believes that he is going to marry his sister. Why hasn't anyone told him that he can't? If he was my little brother I would teach him about incest.... If Satan's Little Helper was trying to show how desensitized kids are to violence it doesn't do a very good job because Dougie just comes across as a nutcase.

Annoying kid aside, this was an entertaining film. Definitely a must-see for Halloween.

Rating: 4/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Inside

After watching Cold Prey, and finding subtitles to not be as bad as I expected, I watched the French film Inside. I watched it with my pregnant roommate, who surprisingly didn't seem disturbed by it at all. Neither was I, grossed out, sure, but I wasn't impressed.

Inside is about a woman who wants a baby. She wants one bad enough to steal it. But not in the usual sense. She's going to cut it out of another woman's belly.

That's basically the whole plot. 90 minutes of a woman trying to cut a baby out of another woman's stomach and killing everyone who gets in her way. The storyline is unique and interesting, but there isn't much to it. And there's only one setting: the pregnant woman's house. There's not enough of a plot.

However, there is a lot of action and a lot of gore. The woman (she's never given a name in the film) uses a pair of scissors to brutally kill everyone who gets in her way. Inside is worth seeing just for the gore.

If you're not a fan of subtitles, you don't have to worry. There's barely any dialogue. Inside is all about the gore. So, if you're a fan of gory horror, check it out. I thought Inside was pretty overrated seeing as how every review I read claimed how disturbing it was.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Cold Prey

This is the first movie with subtitles I've ever seen. Usually I avoid movies with subtitles, but my mom picked this out to rent and I didn't realize it had them. Having to read subtitles wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, but I really had to pay attention. I turned my computer off because I didn't want to miss anything. But Cold Prey was worth having to read subtitles.

When five young adults go snowboarding on a remote mountain, a member of the group breaks his leg, prompting them to seek refuge in an abandoned cabin. But they don't know that there's a killer lurking in the mountains.

One of the blurbs on the back of the DVD claimed that Cold Prey is one of the most original slasher movies in years. I don't know what that person was thinking. It follows every single slasher movie rule, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Except for the fact that you can tell which order the friends will die in immediately, which kind of sucks.

The part of Cold Prey which sets it apart from other slashers is the characters. They're not stereotypes, they're actually realistic. I cared about them all and didn't want any of them to die (except for the jerk who freaked out when his new girlfriend wouldn't put out and wanted to leave the friend with the broken leg to die). And they're smarter than the average slasher characters. When they couldn't find anything to stitch their friend's leg together, they used superglue. A bit strange, but it worked.

There wasn't a lot of gore, but the film didn't need it because it was very suspenseful. My eyes were glued to the screen to see how they would outsmart the killer.

Although Cold Prey was predictable, it was still a fun slasher. A sequel was released last year, picking up where the first film left off.

Rating: 4/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Just Before Dawn

I got this movie on VHS from a library book sale. Pretty cheap too, all I had to give was a donation. So I gave $10 for a box of books and a couple movies. The bottom picture on the left is my VHS copy. I didn't expect much judging from the cover art, which is just a drawing of a man with a knife standing in front of a tent. But the description on the back sounded promising.

Just Before Dawn is about five teens heading up in the mountains to camp for a weekend. Although a forest ranger warns them not to go up there, naturally they ignore him, and discover there's a killer in the woods.

The film has a pretty slow pace. After the initial murder scene to grab viewers nothing else happens for awhile. But it's very atmospheric and has a creepy soundtrack.

Also, there's not really any gore. Just a few people stabbed and a little bit of blood. Just Before Dawn leads more towards Deliverance than say Friday the 13th. It relies more on the atmosphere to creep you out instead of a bunch of gory deaths.

The standard slasher cliched characters make an appearance in this movie. I liked a couple of them, but most of them got on my nerves.

Overall, Just Before Dawn is an okay slasher. It's a bit slow and doesn't have much gore, but it makes up for that with its creepy atmosphere.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Happy Birthday to Me

I've been wanting to see this movie for a long time, mainly because of its infamous death by shish kabob scene (see left). And thanks to FEARnet, I got to watch it online for free. I'm glad I did.

Happy Birthday to Me stars my namesake Melissa Sue Anderson (my parents liked Little House on the Prairie) as a young woman who finally fits in at her snotty school, Crawford Academy, gaining acceptance into the most exclusive clique the "Top 10." But being in the group isn't all it's cracked up to be since someone is offing them, one by one.

I loved this movie. Sure it's pretty cheesy at times, but so are most 80's slashers.

The plot had so many twists at times I had no idea what was going on. I had so many questions that I wanted to skip to the end so I could understand, but of course at the end everything is wrapped up in a neat little package. So I waited, trying to guess who the killer was (I was way off).

The characters in the Top 10 are the standard snobby rich kids, except for the main character who is a little different. Oh, and the nerdy kid who brings his pet rat to the pub and has an interest in taxidermy. It seems like the only reason he's in the Top 10 is so the others can make fun of him.... But I didn't mind because they're pretty much just there to die anyway.

I liked how the kills start with the norm (strangulation) and keep getting more and more creative (death by shish kabob) as the film goes on. Eventually they lead to a twisted ending.

Happy Birthday to Me is one of the most original slashers I've ever seen. It's definitely worth a viewing...especially since you can watch it online for free!

Rating: 5/5

MOVIE REVIEW: All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

I watched a preview for this and then desperately wanted to see it. But it never came to a theatre near me. And it still hasn't come out on DVD, except on Region 2 and Blu-ray, which does me no good. So I ended up watching it online on the weekend as a last resort. It was worth it even though it lagged a lot.

After summer vacation, when Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) returns to school everyone notices that she "got hot." Suddenly she's popular; all the boys want to date her and all the girls want to be her friend. This alienates her best friend, Emmet (Michael Welch). And when he is involved in a popular jock's death, no one wants to have anything to do with him.

Nine months later Mandy is invited to party with her new popular friends at a ranch in the middle of nowhere. All the guys are fighting over her and all the girls are jealous, and then people start to die.

The plot and the tagline are what interested me even before I saw the trailer.

Everyone is dying to be with her. Someone is killing for it.

A slasher where the motive is winning a girl? Sounds original. Better than killing for revenge - or for no reason whatsoever.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is reminiscent of classic slashers. It has a soundtrack made up of oldies such as The Go-Gos instead of the usual metal. The kills are creative instead of torture-porn. The characters are interesting and compelling instead of the usual stereotypes (even though the over-privileged popular kids reminded me of The O.C.).

The dialogue is great, using a lot of humour, but it's still scary. Most of the movie takes place at night, and that paired with the fact that the ranch is in the middle of nowhere, makes it even creepier.

I figured out who the killer was way before it showed (it's pretty obvious). But there was another twist at the end that I didn't guess.

It's been a good week for me. I saw two movies recently that I loved enough to give a 5/5 rating. Hopefully it will come out on DVD so I can watch it again.

Rating: 5/5

MOVIE REVIEW: My Bloody Valentine 3D

I finally got to see My Bloody Valentine 3D on the weekend. I dragged my boyfriend, who hates horror movies, to it on Valentine's Day. What a sweet love story to watch with your valentine.

Well it does have a love story in it - sort of. Tom (Jensen Ackles) is dating Sarah (Jaime King) and they're partying at the mine with their friend Axel (Kerr Smith). Awhile back Tom accidentally caused an explosion in the mine, which was owned by his family. Only one man survived, Harry Warden, who was in a coma. On this night, Harry Warden comes out of his coma, killing several people in the hospital and heads to the mine. Tom, Sarah and Axel narrowly escape death by pickaxe. And Tom leaves town without a word to his friends and family.

Ten years later Tom is back in town to sell the mine and see old flame Sarah, who is now married to Axel, the town sheriff. But Harry Warden has also returned...

I love how the plot is completely different from the original. Instead of being another slasher about teens partying and having sex, it's about Tom selling the mine and their love triangle (which was kind of like Dawson's Creek vs. Supernatural to a CW/WB fan). But the movie still kept the best parts from the first film. The plot is never boring and you're still entertained when there isn't anyone being pickaxed to death.

All the gags and funny dialogue will also keep you entertained. There's tons of jokes and I laughed a lot during the film.

This was the first 3D movie I've ever seen, and the effects were incredible. There was blood spraying at my face, pickaxes thrown at my head, flashlight beams shined in my eyes and Jensen Ackles two feet away from me. It makes me wonder why they don't make everything in 3D. I bet it would've made Bride Wars better. Have the bouquet fly at your face or something.

I had a lot of fun watching this movie, which I can't say about many movies I've seen recently. And no other movies I've seen lately feature pickaxes being thrown at my head. So I give My Bloody Valentine 3D a perfect rating of 5/5.

Rating: 5/5

Trash or Treasure Thursday

The Clown at Midnight (1998)

"A clown may be amusing in a circus ring, but what would be your reaction to opening you door and finding that same clown on your front step at midnight?"

Creeped out to say the least. A character in the film says this to explain what makes clowns scary.

I saw the beginning of The Clown at Midnight a long time ago but then I fell asleep. And I never knew what it was called so I never got to see the ending. Until it was on T.V. last week.

In The Clown at Midnight, a group of teenagers is restoring an old opera house. One girl's mother was an opera singer who was killed years earlier by a clown. As the legend goes, the clown fled the country and was never caught. But when the teens are picked off one by one, they start to think maybe the clown is still around.

This is one of the better low-budget slasher movies featuring a killer clown that I've seen (never EVER watch Mr. Jingles).

It had an interesting plot, different from other evil clown films where a clown goes around killing teens for no reason. And even though it starts off slow, the story was compelling enough to keep me watching. The ending also surprised me. I thought I had it figured out for sure, but I wasn't even close. There were a few creepy scenes and some gory deaths.

The dialogue was pretty good, being funny at times and poking fun at horror films like in Scream. Here's an example:

"I felt like a bimbo in a slasher movie screaming like that."

But at times the film was so corny I couldn't stand it. Especially the cornball ending. I don't want to spoil anything, but that would never happen after all of your friends were brutally murdered. You would be calling the cops.

The acting wasn't bad. A couple of the teens were pretty awful, but they're not in the film for long. It stars Tatyana Ali (from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), Margot Kidder and Christopher Plummer, but the latter two were barely in it.

Overall, I would say The Clown at Midnight was not bad for a low-budget slasher, but it's a bit too corny. And it would've been better if Margot Kidder had a bigger role and lasted more than a half hour.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)

I don't need to say much about this one. If you're a horror fan, you know it's going to suck. First of all, it's both a sequel AND a remake. That pretty much says it all right there. But for some reason, I felt compelled to buy it for $2 from Rogers Video. Despite that fact that:

a) The reason it was only $2 was probably because it's awful and no one else is dumb enough to buy it.
b) I didn't even enjoy the first remake.
c) I had already read reviews on Amazon and saw that it got 2 1/2 stars.

That's why I'm only getting around to seeing it now, over a year after it was released. And even though I knew it would be terrible I thought I should at least give it a chance. I'm a horror movie optimist. I always hope that a movie will exceed my expectations, even though I now deep down that it won't. And The Hills Have Eyes 2 definitely did not.

Unfortunately, this film follows the trend of other recent horror movies, replacing plot with gore. The description on the back of the DVD sounds interesting, stating that the mutants want to breed with women to keep their family going. But that doesn't really happen in the movie.

The film begins with that idea in mind. In the first gory scene, a woman gives birth to a mutant baby. And that's the only scene which has something to do with the supposed plot line. The rest of the movie is just a mutant killing spree.

It doesn't have any of the elements that make a movie good. The plot was non-existent. There was barely any dialogue, and when there was some, it was boring. The pacing was slow. The characters were stupid and dull. You end up wanting the mutants to get them all so the movie will end.

All this film has to offer is gore, and even that sucked. The "gore" scenes were pretty tame compared to other movies.

There is nothing to like about The Hills Have Eyes 2, so I give it a 1/5.

Rating: 1/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Prom Night (2008)

In my last post I mentioned how I fell asleep during almost every movie I watched Thanksgiving weekend. The Prom Night remake was one of them. I almost made it to the end, but then I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. Yes, it is that slow and boring.

I'm not really a fan of the original Prom Night. I don't understand why it's a cult classic. I've seen it a few times, most recently last week, and I always think it will be better than I remember. But it's just a run-of-the-mill slasher flick with an interesting beginning and ending. But this isn't a review of the original.

The remake is even worse than the original. The plot is completely different, the only similarity is that it takes place on prom night.

Three years ago Donna (Brittany Snow) comes home to find her father and brother dead. She hides under a bed and watches her mother be murdered by her teacher (Jonathan Schaech), who is obsessed with Donna. He's caught and sent to jail, but escapes on prom night.

Prom Night is missing everything a movie requires to be interesting. The plot stinks. How many times have we seen a psycho escape from prison to come after someone? It's predictable, you can tell exactly what will happen, who will live and who will die. The dialouge is stale and boring. There is no suspense whatsoever. The killer is shown at the beginning of the movie, so there's no mystery or incentive to keep watching. There is very little gore. It isn't scary or creepy whatsoever, instead it's boring and slow.

I give Prom Night a 1/5. Don't watch it unless you want to fall asleep.

Rating: 1/5