BOOK REVIEW: Evolve edited by Nancy Kilpatrick

I'm not a huge vampire fan. I've read a few vampire novels, but wasn't crazy about them because I found them predictable. More often than not, it ends with a stake in the heart. But I thought I would give this anthology a chance since it features stories about the "New Undead." I'm glad I did because none of these stories are predictable or end with a stake. These vampire stories are unique and fascinating.

Evolve: Vampire Stories of the New Undead is edited by Nancy Kilpatrick and features 23 stories and one poem written by Canadian authors. The plot of every story involves the "twenty-first century vampire." Many of the vampires are accepted in society, many don't succumb to the usual vampire traditions (dying in the sun, etc.) and while similar to the bloodsuckers in classics like Dracula, they are all unique, new breeds of vampire.

"An Ember Amongst the Fallen" by Colleen Anderson is the most original story of the bunch, and my favourite. In this story, vampires are the dominant species and use humans as "cattle". There is much more to the plot than that, but I don't want to give anything away. It goes in a direction I never expected, and I ended up being a bit shocked by the events in the story. Reading the anthology just for this story would be worth it; definitely one of the best short stories I've read.

In "A Murder of Vampires" by Bev Vincent, vampires are common and live in a bad part of town. When vampires are being murdered, a detective tries to find the killer. I love detective and serial killer stories, so I enjoyed this story a lot. The twist of a human detective finding a killer who is murdering vampires, which most people consider monsters, makes this story interesting.

"The Greatest Trick" by Steve Vernon is about a vampire who wants to be a politician, but when he finds it difficult to convince the public to choose a vampire over the other candidates, he finds ways to even the competition. This story is gory and humorous, making me laugh quite a bit. Here's an example of a joke from the story: 

"Nobody is going to vote for a vampire," Jessome said, after I explained what I wanted of him.

"They voted for Schwarzenegger," I pointed out. "And he married one."

In "Soulfinger" by Rio Youers, a journalist goes to a blues bar to see legendary blues musician, Soulfinger, for an article he's researching, unaware that it's a bar for vampires. This is the creepiest and most atmospheric story in the anthology. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll just leave it at that.

In "How Magnificent is the Universal Donor" by Jerome Stueart, a virus called Beijing Blood Disease - a.k.a. Baby Dee - has infected most of the population and the World Health Organization (WHO) is trying to save everyone with blood transfusions. But Jacob knows there is a secret the WHO is trying to hide. And when he is told his perfectly healthy partner has died from Baby Dee, he sneaks into the hospital to find him. There is tons of suspense when Jacob is sneaking around the hospital, trying not to get caught by the doctors of the WHO, and an eerie scene in the morgue.

Overall, Evolve is a must-read for vampire lovers, and anyone who is tired of the same old vampire cliches. Evolve 2: Vampire Stories of the Future Undead will be released August 15, and will be about vampires in 2012 and beyond, once again edited by Nancy Kilpatrick.


Rating: 4/5

R.L. STINE BOOK OF THE WEEK: Fear Street: Goodnight Kiss

Their first kiss could be her last....

From the back cover:

A KISS TO DIE FOR....

Matt, his girlfriend April, and his best friend Todd look forward to a summer of sun and fun at the beach. But as dark shadows flutter over the sand, they soon find themselves plunged into a horrifying world of endless night.

"What's happening to April and Todd?" Matt wonders. "Why are they so pale, so weak, so...changed?"

The twin puncture wounds on their throats give Matt a clue. The menacing bats hovering over the beach offer another.

April has been lured away by the kisses of another boy - strange, intoxicating kisses that leave her weak, hungering for more. The kisses of a vampire.

Can Matt rescue April in time? Only he realizes that her next goodnight kiss may be her last.

My thoughts:

I started reading this when I was 13 and never finished it, which wasn't very promising for my second try at age 22. This time it took me two weeks to read this 216 page book and I barely finished it again. I have never liked vampires, so maybe that's the reason I hate this book so much - or maybe it's just a really crappy book....

This is another summer Fear Street book so once again it takes place outside Shadyside. This time at the beach town Sandy Hollow where apparently everyone from Shadyside has a beach house there.

The premise of this book is ridiculous. What the back cover doesn't tell you is that there are two vampires: Gabri and Jessica. The plot is about a bet between the two to see who can turn a human into "an eternal one" first. Yes, vampires have nothing else better to do than make immature bets and waste all their time trying to foil each others' plans. Well I guess they do have all of eternity to kill....

There was no suspense or action other than Gabri and Jessica trying to win their lame bet by sloooowly trying to win over Todd and April, making the book drag on forever.

And why was April always ragging on Matt for his love of horror movies? A Living Dead festival or Friday the 13th triple feature sounds good to me.

Rating: 1/5

PG-13 gore: Todd's face appeared in the light, green and swollen. His eyes were open but had sunk back in his head. Encircled by pus, the pupils were solid white.

A tear in the flesh of one cheek allowed the skin to sag like a pocket. When Todd finally opened his mouth to speak, his jaws grating as they opened like a squeaking, rusty door, Matt saw that several teeth were missing.

Body count: 3

Next week: The Overnight

MOVIE REVIEW: Lost Boys: The Tribe

This movie was wasn't as bad as I thought it would be - almost, but not quite. Corey Feldman reprising his role as Edgar Frog saved it somewhat from being a total bomb.

After their parents die in a car accident, siblings Chris (Tad Hilgenbrink) and Nicole Emerson (Autumn Reeser), move in with their aunt. When Nicole falls for a vampire (Kiefer Sutherland's half-brother, Angus Sutherland) and unknowingly drinks blood, she becomes a vampire. Before the transformation is complete, Chris must find and kill the head vampire. But he'll need the help of veteran vampire slayer, Edgar Frog.

This movie doesn't have the cheesy 80's charm of the first. Instead, it has the MTV music video feel of the 00's. Teens partying, having sex and lots of rock music make this movie like The O.C. with vampires. It's 3/4 teenybopper flick, 1/2 horror movie. Every horror scene was extremely gory, as if to make up for the rest of the film being lame.

I was bored throughout most of it. This was the movie: they're surfing, then they're at a party, then someone is having sex in a shower, then someone else is having sex, then they're skateboarding, then they're riding their motorcycles. Oh wow they're bad asses.

Lost Boys: The Tribe is missing the humour of the first film, which is unfortunate because that's what made the original great. The characters are bland, cookie-cutter teens, unlike the original which featured eccentric characters.

Oh, and don't turn the movie off when the credits start. Corey Haim has a sweet cameo. It would have been better if he was in the whole movie instead of one scene during the credits. And where was Jamison Newlander?

I give this movie a 2, just because the scenes with Corey Feldman were okay.

Rating: 2/5

MOVIE REVIEW: The Lost Boys

After watching the new sequel, Lost Boys: The Tribe, I thought I would review the original. What makes this better than the sequel?

Well...everything. The script is better, the acting is better, the soundtrack is better, it's more entertaining...everything in the original is superior.

For anyone who hasn't seen it, The Lost Boys is about vampires. When Lucy Emerson (Diane Wiest) and her sons Michael (Jason Patric) and Sam (Corey Haim) move, Michael immediately falls for a girl named Star (Jami Gertz). Unbeknownst to him, she's a vampire. Sam, worried about his brother, befriends brothers Edgar (Corey Feldman) and Alan Frog (Jamison Newlander), two vampire hunters. Together, they must find and kill the head vampire.

I don't even like vampire movies. But for some reason I love this movie. It has an awesome blend of horror and comedy. The first time I saw it, I was drawn in by the wicked soundtrack (People are Strange playing when they move into the new town). And then I was hooked.

The characters are eccentric and interesting. I love the Frog brothers and the grandpa. They're all hilarious. And Kiefer Sutherland is such a badass in this movie, even more so than he is in 24. It makes me laugh to see Jami Gertz in her role as a vampire because I only know her from the sitcom Still Standing.

The plot moves quickly and I wasn't bored for a second. And I was shocked by who the head vampire was. The script is funny and very quotable. Just look at these gems:

"My own brother a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire! Oh, you wait 'til Mom finds out, buddy." - Sam Emerson

Edgar Frog: You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
Sam Emerson: Yeah, all day.
Alan Frog: Does the sunlight freak him out?
Sam Emerson: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
Edgar Frog: Bad breath, long fingernails?
Sam Emerson: Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath, though.
Alan Frog: He's a vampire all right.
Edgar Frog: All right, here's what you do: get yourself a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
Sam Emerson: I can't do that; he's my brother.
Alan Frog: OK, we'll come over and do it for you.
Sam Emerson: No!
Edgar Frog: You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.

"Death by stereo!" - Sam Emerson

"If you read the T.V. Guide, you don't need a T.V." - Grandpa

How could you not love this movie? Actually, when I took an elective in college about vampires and we watched this movie everyone in my class made fun of it. I hate watching movies I love with other people. If they don't like it I'm always disappointed. But I still love it and would recommend everyone to watch it. Even if you don't like vampires.

Rating: 4/5