Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Here's how I plan on spending my Halloween night:

I'm going to stay in and have a Halloween marathon while drinking Nightmare on Mill Street pumpkin ale. And I plan on watching Ash vs. Evil Dead tonight at 10:00 pm on Super Channel (in Canada).

How are you spending Halloween?

Happy Halloween!

Hope everyone has an awesome night! I'm staying in and watching horror movies tonight. What are your Halloween plans?

Happy Halloween!

Hope you all have a great Halloween! This is the costume I wore to work today. It looked pretty cool but it was really hard to eat with all that fake blood and glue stuck to my face. I only had time to watch two horror movies tonight: All Hallows' Eve and Halloween.

How are you spending your Halloween?

Game Review: The Simpsons: Tapped Out Treehouse of Horror XXIV Event

It's no secret that I love The Simpsons (see previous post) and I'm a total Simpsons: Tapped Out addict. I hadn't played it in a few months (I decided to cut back after spending countless hours playing it), but I wanted to check out the Treehouse of Horror XXIV Event. I had to delete five apps to have enough space on my phone for the update, but it was totally worth it.

The appearance of the game has changed to be more spooky for Halloween. Springfield is shadowy, leaves are falling, the trees are dead, there's eerie music with intermittent screaming and bats squeaking and ghosts float around town.

The ghosts are an integral part of the Halloween update. When you tap them (or a character possessed by one), you earn Ghostly Organofluid Outflow (GOO) and Gremlins. If you get enough GOO, you can win prizes:

• Pumpkin House
• Ancient Indian Burial Ground
• Vac-U-Bot
• Zombie
• Victorian UFO
• Ultrahouse 2
• King Snorky
• Twirl'N'Hurl
• Burns Coffin
• Gingerbread House

GOO can also be earned through tasks with certain characters - the kids go trick-or-treating, Homer deals with ghosts, Marge tidies up ghosts and Mr. Burns eliminates ghosts. The Gremlins can also find GOO when you release them in your neighbours' Springfields.

There are also community prizes to be won when enough GOO is collected to reach the community target:

• First Church of Lard Lad
• Clawing Zombie
• Ghost Bomb
• Frog Prince
• King Homer's Skyscraper

If the GOO prizes aren't enough, there are tons of other Treehouse of Horror content to purchase with money or donuts such as Boobarella, Bad Dream House, Devil Flanders costume, The Raven, Talking Krusty Doll, a pumpkin patch and more!

In addition to the prizes and the spooky atmosphere, there are a few other neat aspects of the update. In Halloween quest, "The Ghost in the Machine-based App", you build the Gypsy Fortune Teller Shop. And the ghosts of Maude Flanders, Frank Grimes (or "Grimey," as he liked to be called) and James Bont also make appearances.

If you're a fan of The Simpsons (especially Treehouse of Horror) and don't already have this app, you should definitely get it. Feel feel to friend me on Tapped Out at melhelwig847.

TV Review: The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXIV

I always look forward to The Simpsons' annual "Treehouse of Horror" episode, but especially this week because I needed something to get my mind off the absence of Breaking Bad.

There has been a lot of hype surrounding "Treehouse of Horror XXIV" because Guillermo Del Toro directed the couch gag. It was released online last week as a teaser for the episode. I've watched it twice now and I still don't think I noticed all the horror references. While Bart writes "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" on the chalkboard, Stephen King is writing it on the wall of the classroom; Maggie is driving The Car; The Birds attack Mrs. Krabappel while sitting next to Hitchcock; Groundskeeper Willie is Hellboy; Carl is Blade and much more! It was the best couch gag ever made and a must-see for all horror fans.

Oh, the Places You'll Doh!

In this Dr. Seuss parody, Homer plays "The Fat in the Hat" and shows up to cure The Simpsons kids' mumps and take them on a crazy trick-or-treating adventure.

I'm not a big Dr. Seuss fan, so I didn't enjoy this much. The entire segment rhymes, just like a Dr. Seuss book, and it irritated me.

Dead and Shoulders

When Bart is decapitated, his head is attached to Lisa's body. Lisa controls all movement, but Bart discovers that he's in control when Lisa sleeps and plans to take over her body completely.

I hated this segment. I didn't laugh a single time and found it to be dull and unoriginal.

Freaks No Geeks

This segment is a spoof of the 1932 film, Freaks. In this version, Marge plays the trapeze artist and Homer plays the strongman. Many other Simpsons characters play freaks (Comic Book Guy is a snail and Barney is just a torso) but Moe is ugly enough to be a freak while remaining himself. Homer tricks Marge into marrying Moe and plans to poison him, then marry Marge to gain possession of Moe's emerald ring. When the freaks discover Homer's plan, they turn him into a human duck.

I really enjoyed this segment because I've actually seen - and like - Freaks. It also gave me the biggest laugh of the episode. Homer the Duck is sitting on the couch and says, "And that kids, is how I met your mother." Then the theme song from How I Met Your Mother plays.

Overall, this episode was a disappointment despite the awesome couch gag. Two of the three segments were pretty awful.

Bob's Burgers and American Dad both aired Halloween episodes tonight and I found them both to be funnier than this episode of The Simpsons.

Rating: 3/5

Here's Guillermo Del Toro's couch gag:

R.L. Stine Book of the Week: The Haunted Mask

If looks could kill...

FACE TO FACE WITH A NIGHTMARE...

How ugly is Carly Beth's Halloween mask? It's so ugly that it almost scared her little brother to death. So terrifying that even her friends are totally freaked out by it.

It's the best Halloween mask ever. It's everything Carly Beth hoped it would be. And more.

Maybe too much more. Because Halloween is almost over.

And Carly Beth is still wearing that special mask....

My Thoughts: 

The Haunted Mask has always been one of my favourite Goosebumps books, mostly because it takes place on Halloween. It's much better than other Goosebumps Halloween books - Attack of the Jack-O'- Lanterns, I'm talking to you.  

Since the back cover synopsis doesn't give much away, I will enlighten you. Carly Beth scares easily and to get revenge on the two boys that constantly pull pranks on her, she buys the most terrifying mask she can find. But as Halloween night progresses, the mask changes her personality. She can't help scaring everyone she comes into contact with. Then, at the end of the night, she can't take off the mask.

Reading this again brought back lots of memories of trick-or-treating - the hunt for a good costume, jumping out and scaring friends, the candy. It isn't as scary as The Girl Who Cried Monster, or as gory as Welcome to Dead House, but it's still a good read - especially if you love Halloween.

The Haunted Mask was made into the first episode of the Goosebumps TV series. Unfortunately, it isn't available for streaming on Netflix, even though the rest of the series is.

There are also three sequels: The Haunted Mask II, The Scream of the Haunted Mask and Wanted: The Haunted Mask.

Rating: 4/5

PG Gore: I'm going to tear this woman apart! Carly Beth decided.

I'll chew her to bits! I'll tear her skin off her bones! Furious thoughts raged through Carly Beth's mind.

She tensed her muscles, crouched low, and prepared to pounce.

T.V. REVIEW: The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXIII

I look forward to The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode every year (read my list of Top 10 Treehouse of Horror Segments here), even though they have (mostly) been a disappointment for the past several years. I watched my Treehouse of Horror DVD before I watched this year's installment, which was a mistake because the new episode pales in comparison with the classic episodes.

In the opening sequence, the Mayans calculate the end of the world as being on December 21, 2012, but they plan on avoiding it by appeasing the gods with a human sacrifice: Homer.

But Marge saves Homer by tricking Moe into being sacrificed instead. Since they sacrifice the wrong guy, the world is doomed and, in the present day, Mayan Gods destroy the Earth.

I thought this was hilarious, topical and a great start to Treehouse of Horror XXIII (I especially liked the Mayan Crazy Cat Lady, throwing lizards instead of cats).

The Greatest Story Ever Holed

In this segment, Lisa has convinced Springfield to build a particle accelerator instead of a baseball stadium. But when two particles crash into each other, they create a black hole. Lisa warns everyone that throwing garbage into it could make it bigger, but they all ignore her warnings (Homer even starts a business called Magic Craphole Waste Removal).

I wasn't blown away by this segment, but it had its moments. The ending was especially funny.

UNnormal Activity

In this parody of Paranormal Activity, strange things have been going on in the Simpson household and Homer is determined to catch it all on camera.

This was by far the best segment in the episode. Anyone who has seen Paranormal Activity will appreciate this parody.

Bart & Homer's Excellent Adventure

Bart is outraged that a comic book that says 25 cents on the cover is now being sold for $200. Comic Book Man says "The only way to buy that comic for 25 cents is to go back to 1974." So Bart takes Professor Frink's time machine to 1974 to buy the comic and inadvertently meets Homer and Marge.
Bart prevents Homer from dating Marge, changing the future for the family.

This segment had so much potential, but instead, was a huge disappointment. It started as a funny parody of Back to the Future, but then the plot became nonsensical with a bunch of Homers throughout time coming to the future (or present?) to woo Marge. Definitely the worst segment of the bunch.

Overall, I wasn't impressed with this year's Treehouse of Horror offering. But it was worth watching just for the UNnormal Activity segment.

Rating: 3/5

Happy Halloween!

I hope you all have a terrific Halloween and have fun with whatever you've got planned. I'm just staying in tonight and watching horror movies - I'm actually watching Halloween as I type this.

What are your plans for tonight?

T.V. REVIEW: Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXII

Hurray! The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXII is actually airing before Halloween this year! So I thought I should review it since I haven't blogged about anything Halloween-related yet this year (sorry about that!).

In the opening sequence, Marge is a Switch Witch. After the kids eat some of their candy, she takes the rest and replaces it with toothbrushes, dental floss and mouthwash. Then Homer is supposed to drop it off at Candy for Troops, but instead he drives to Candy Eating Peak to gorge himself and falls down a canyon, getting stuck under a rock in a funny spoof of 127 Hours.

This Treehouse of Horror episode was a bit of a disappointment compared to some of my favourites (read a list of my Top 10 Treehouse of Horror Segments here), or even last year's episode (read my review here), but that is probably because I haven't seen any of the movies/T.V. shows  which are spoofed. Here are the segments:

The Diving Bell and the Butterball

In this parody of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Homer is paralyzed by a spider bite and learns to communicate through farting.

This segment is mostly fart jokes, so I didn't find it very funny. Also, not only have I not seen The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, I have no idea what it's about and have never heard of it until now. At least with the others, I have an idea of what they're about. But there are still a few laughs at the end when another spider bites Homer and he becomes a Spiderman who shoots webs from his ass when he farts.

Dial "D" for Diddly

Ned Flanders begins murdering "evil" people when he believes God is telling him to in this parody of Dexter.

As I've already said, I've never seen Dexter - I know I should probably watch it, I'm sure I'll get to it eventually - but despite this, I still found this segment to be the funniest of the episode. I especially enjoyed the scene where Ned kills Patty and Selma. He puts a sign on the side of the road that says "Free Cigarettes" and then shoves a boulder on top of their car a la Wile E. Coyote.

In the Na'vi

In the future, Bart and Milhouse are sent to another planet to harvest Hilarium for Krusty the Clown, in a spoof of Avatar.

I found this to be the least funny segment of the episode. Unlike the others, this one just has Avatar-related jokes. I enjoyed seeing what Bart and Milhouse would look like if they were part of Kang and Kodos' race of aliens, but that was the only fun part of this segment.

Overall, I felt pretty "meh" about this year's episode. But it's worth watching for Dial "D" for Diddly and the opening.

Rating: 3/5

T.V. REVIEW: The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXI

It's still Halloween on Fox tonight! The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXI aired tonight, along with Halloween episodes of The Cleveland Show, Family Guy and American Dad. And since it doesn't feel like Halloween until I see the new Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode, I'm going to do a belated Halloween post and review the new episode.

The opening segment begins with Homer and Bart having a violent - and bloody - fight. Then Professor Frink warns the audience to use their DVR remote to fast forward through the violent scenes, demonstrating but ending up skipping the entire episode. He then says "I don't deserve to wield the remote," and fast forwards himself into a pile of dust.

Then Frankenstein says "Monster go watch The Office, Dunder Mifflin just like monster's workplace." And a spoof of the opening credits of The Office begins with a sign saying "Transylvania Welcomes You" and a building with the plaque "Monster Mifflin" is shown. Inside the building is a mummy getting his bandages stuck in a paper shredder, a zombie nuking a brain in a microwave and other various monsters.

As a fan of The Office, this was my favourite part of the episode. But don't worry, the rest of the episode is funny as well. Here are the three segments:

War and Pieces

When Marge catches Bart and Milhouse playing a violent video game, she forces them to play a good old fashioned board game. They choose a game called "Satan's Path" because "It's gotta be good if Satan put his name on it." It turns out to be even more violent than a video game when the game comes to life a la Jumanji, bringing all the other board games to life as well.

This segment was pretty funny, especially if you can relate to how much Mouse Trap sucks or ever wondered why Monopoly would include a lame game piece like a thimble.


Master and Cadaver

In a parody of the film Dead Calm, Homer and Marge are having a second honeymoon aboard a yacht when they spot a castaway (Hugh Laurie). After they help him aboard, he tells them how he narrowly escaped being poisoned on his boat, but Homer and Marge think he's the killer and is now trying to poison them.

I didn't find this segment to be funny at all, but I've never seen Dead Calm before, so I didn't understand any of the references.

Tweenlight

Lisa falls for the new student, Edmund (Daniel Radcliffe), who is a vampire and wants to turn Lisa into one.

This spoof of Twilight was the funniest of the three segments. I loved the part when they invited Edmund and his father for dinner, much to his dismay:"I'm 400 years old! I don't need a chaperone!" Marge didn't know what to cook, so she killed Ned and served him on a platter. And Homer keeps asking dumb questions: "If a mosquito bites you, does it become a vampire too? If you bite your tongue, does it become a vampire?" I also loved the scene where it shows the vampire area of Springfield, Dracula-La Land, where it shows "every kind of vampire there is." Including Bram Stoker's Dracula, Nosferatu, Count Chocula and The Count from Sesame Street.

Overall, this was a fun episode despite the mediocre middle segment.

Rating: 4/5

Happy Halloween!

I'm taking a break from my horror movie marathon to wish everyone a Happy Halloween and to share my costume: Sexy Chucky. This costume was a total rip off and I don't recommend anyone to buy it. The knee high socks don't even have feet, they're just tubes! And the jumper looks like it says "Goo Guy" on it. Oh well, that didn't ruin my Halloween fun last night. Here's my costume:

Oh, and don't forget to watch The Walking Dead tonight at 10:00 pm on AMC!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

T.V. REVIEW: Scared Shrekless

What scares an ogre?

Shrek claims nothing, but Donkey and Puss in Boots aren't convinced, so they come up with a fun/spooky idea of how to spend their Halloween night. They will take turns telling scary stories and whoever can last through the night will be dubbed "The King of Halloween." And to up the ante, Shrek suggests they tell the stories in Lord Farquaad's supposedly haunted castle.

This 30-minute Halloween special is comprised of three stories and the wraparound story of Shrek and pals spending the night in a haunted castle. These are the three segments:

The Bride of Gingy

After Gingy's girlfriend kicks him out, he arrives on the Muffin Man's doorstep and begs the baker to make him a new girlfriend. But Gingy insists on adding tons of sugar to ensure his new girlfriend is sweeter than the last. Despite Muffin Man's warnings that no one has ever made cookies with that much sugar and that he doesn't know what could happen. Well, Gingy's girlfriend ends up a little too sweet...and clingy.

Boots Motel

Donkey and Puss in Boots collaborate on this story, but try to kill the other one off throughout. On a dark and stormy night Donkey and Puss take shelter in the Boots Motel where Puss takes a well-deserved tongue bath. But he's murdered! Or is he? Perhaps it was Donkey taking a shower until he is interrupted by...  a donkey-eating waffle who wants revenge!

The Shreksorcist

Shrek helps Geppetto put Pinocchio to bed, thinking he can handle it because he takes care of three baby ogres on a daily basis. But it's more difficult than he presumes because Pinocchio seems to be possessed.

Scared Shrekless is a fun Halloween special and had me laughing quite a bit. I love Gingy. He's such a cute and funny character. For instance, in one part when he gets scared he poops out candies. And look at his explanation for why his girlfriend kicked him out:

Gingy: "I dunno something about me being too into myself, blah, blah, blah, yak, yak yak."

Muffin Man: "You?! But you are so adorable!"

Gingy "I know! That's what I keep telling her!"

Oh, Gingy. You really are adorable. Scared Shrekless is even better than I expected. I'm not a big fan of kids' movies or T.V. shows, but while this one is kid-friendly it also has some humor for adults. If you missed Scared Shrekless it will air again on NBC at 8:00 pm on Saturday.

Halloween TV/Movie Schedule (Canadian version)

Get your DVR ready because there are a ton of horror movies and Halloween-themed TV episodes airing in the next few days. TV.com already has a pretty comprehensive list, but since I live in Canada and don't get a lot of the channels featured, I thought I would compile a list of movies and TV shows featuring channels available in Canada.

Scared Shrekless premieres on NBC Oct. 28 at 8:00 pm.

Thursday, October 28

12:15 AM
Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster on AMC

12:30 AM
Grimm Love on Super Channel 2

4:00 AM
Creature From the Black Lagoon on AMC

9:30 AM
End of Days on AMC

11:00 AM
Walled In on MExcess

2:15 PM
Thirteen Ghosts on AMC

3:30 PM
The Frighteners on MovieTime

8:00 PM

Scream on IFC Oct. 28 at 9:00 pm.

Little Shop of Horrors on SunTV
Red Planet on AMC
Scared Shrekless on NBC

9:00 PM
Lost Souls on MPIX
The Reaping on MovieTime
Scream on IFC
Silent Hill on Action

10:00 PM
Beneath on Dusk

10:30 PM
Jason Goes to Hell on AMC

10:40 PM
Hollow Man on MPIX
Thirst on MFest

11:00 PM
The Final Destination on The Movie Network
The Wicker Man (2006) on MovieTime

Friday, October 29

12:30 AM

The Lost Boys 7:00 pm on Dusk, Oct. 29.

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning on AMC

10:00 AM
Friday the 13th Part 3 on AMC

11:00 AM
Carriers on Super Channel 2

12:00 PM
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter on AMC

1:00 PM
Dementia 13 on SunTV

2:15 PM
Razortooth on Super Channel 2

4:00 PM
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives on AMC

6:00 PM
The Chair on The Movie Network
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood on AMC

7:00 PM
The Lost Boys on Dusk
The Unborn on MExcess

7:30 PM
Zombieland on The Movie Network

The Crazies (2010) airs at 9:00 pm Oct. 29 on TMN.

8:00 PM
Devil's Diary on SunTV
Predator on AMC
Urban Legend on Diva

9:00 PM
The Crazies (2010) on The Movie Network
Children of the Corn (2009) on Super Channel 2
Friday the 13th on Action
Orphan on MExcess
Signs on Dusk

10:30 PM
Predator 2 on AMC

10:45 PM
The Children on Super Channel 2

11:00 PM
Friday the 13th Part 2 on Action
From Within on The Movie Network

11:20 PM
When a Stranger Calls (2006) on Dusk

Saturday, October 30

The Rocky Horror Picture Show 2:00 am on CTV Oct. 30.

1:00 AM
Deep Blue Sea on AMC

1:30 AM
Interview With the Vampire on SunTV

2:00 AM
The Rocky Horror Picture Show on CTV

3:15 AM
Jeepers Creepers on Super Channel 2

3:30 AM
Cocoon on AMC

5:00 AM
Jeepers Creepers 2 on Super Channel 2

9:00 AM
Blood of Dracula on AMC

10:30 AM
They Live on AMC

11:15 AM
Open Graves on Super Channel 2

11:30 AM
Garfield's Halloween Adventure on YTV

12:00 PM
Alvin & the Chipmunks Meet Wolfman on YTV

Alvin & the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein on YTV 12:00 pm Oct. 30.

12:30 PM
28 Days Later on AMC

12:45 PM
The Grudge 3 on Super Channel 2

2:00 PM
Alvin & the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein on YTV

2:20 PM
The Wizard of Gore (2007) on Super Channel 2

3:00 PM
Scary Movie on The CW

4:00 PM
The Hills Have Eyes (2003) on Spike
Monster House on YTV
Smash Cut on Super Channel 2

5:00 PM
The Exorcist on Diva

5:30 PM
Beetlejuice on NTV

6:00 PM
The Flintstones Meet Rockula & Frankenstone on YTV

The Flintstones Meet Rockula & Frankenstone

6:15 PM
Blade Trinity on Spike

7:00 PM
Dracula: Dead and Loving It on CH
Paranormal Activity on MExcess
White Zombie on The CW

7:15 PM
Zombie Strippers on Super Channel 2

7:30 PM
Bless the Child on Diva

8:00 PM
The Host on TVO
Lost Boys: The Tribe on Peachtree TV
Pet Sematary 2 on AMC
Vipers on Global

8:30 PM
Bride of the Monster on The CW

9:00 PM
Daybreakers on The Movie Network
Ginger Snaps on IFC
Halloween (2007) on Spike
Jennifer's Body on Super Channel 2
The Mothman Prophecies on Dusk
Saw IV on Action
Quarantine on MExcess

Videodrome will be on TVO at 10:20 pm Oct. 30.

10:00 PM
Bats on Peachtree TV
The Ring Two on Diva

10:15 PM
Ghost Ship on AMC
Red on Super Channel 3

10:20 PM
Videodrome on TVO

10:30 PM
Dead Snow on MExcess

10:45 PM
The Midnight Meat Train on Super Channel 2

11:00 PM
Saw on Action
Suck on The Movie Network

11:30 PM
Freddy vs. Jason on Spike
The Hole on Dusk

AMC will air Halloween 1-5 on Halloween beginning at 8:00 am.

Sunday, October 31

12:00 AM
1408 on Peachtree TV

12:30 AM
Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever on Super Channel 2

2:00 AM
Feast II: Sloppy Seconds on Super Channel 2

4:45 AM
The Brain Eaters on AMC

6:00 AM
The Flesh Eaters on AMC

8:00 AM
Halloween on AMC

10:00 AM
Halloween II on AMC

10:50 AM
Village of the Damned (1995) on MPIX

12:00 PM
Halloween III: Season of the Witch on AMC

All Poltergeist films will air on Space on Halloween.

12:30 PM
The Burrowers on Super Channel 2
Dreamcatcher on MPIX
Poltergeist on Space

1:00 PM
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown on YTV

2:00 PM
Casper on YTV
Dolls on The CW
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers on AMC

2:15 PM
The Descent Part 2 on Super Channel 2

2:45 PM
The Blair Witch Project on MPIX

3:00 PM
Poltergeist II on Space

4:00 PM
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 on MPIX
Double, Double, Toil and Trouble on YTV
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers on AMC
The Witches of Eastwick on SunTV

Drag Me to Hell will be on MExcess on Halloween at 7:00 pm.

5:00 PM
Child's Play on The CW
Final Destination on MovieTime
Poltergeist III on Space

6:00 PM
The Sixth Sense on Diva

7:00 PM
Drag Me to Hell on MExcess

Scary Movie 2 on MovieTime

7:20 PM
Boogeyman on MPIX

7:30 PM
Return to Sleepaway Camp on Super Channel 2

8:00 PM
Dawn of the Dead (2004) on AMC

8:30 PM
Gothika on Diva

9:00 PM
The Amityville Horror (2005) on MPIX
The Collector on MExcess
The Devil's Rejects on IFC
House of Wax (2005) on MovieTime

The Walking Dead premieres on AMC on Halloween at 10:00 pm.

The Seventh Sign on APTN

10:00 PM
The Walking Dead on AMC

10:30 PM
The Amityville Horror (1979) on MPIX
Halloween II (2009) on MExcess

10:45 PM
Killer Movie on Super Channel 2

Halloweek III

I can't believe October is almost over. This month has been busy for me and I'm sorry I haven't posted much.

For the past two years I've dedicated one week to Halloween-related posts and dubbed it "Halloweek".  So this week (well only the next four days, to be exact) I will begin Halloweek III and try to post a lot to make up for my lack of posts in October. Happy early Halloween everyone!

R.L. STINE BOOK OF THE WEEK: Goosebumps: Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns

Put one head in front of the other...

From the back cover:

PUMPKIN POWER!

Nothing beats Halloween. It's Drew Brockman's favorite holiday. And this year will be awesome. Much better than last year. Or the year Lee and Tabby played that joke. A nasty practical joke on Drew and her best friend, Walker.

Yes, this year Drew and Walker have a plan. A plan for revenge. It involves two scary pumpkin heads.

But something's gone wrong. Way wrong. Because the pumpkin heads are a little too scary. A little too real. With strange hissing voices. And flames shooting out of their faces...

My thoughts: In anticipation of Halloween, for the next five Sundays I will be reviewing a Halloween-themed R.L. Stine book. The first one I chose is Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns, which ended up being one of the most uninteresting Goosebumps books I have read so far.

Half of the book is comprised of flashbacks to previous Halloween nights which were ruined by snobby Tabby and Lee's mean (yet dull) pranks. When Drew and her friends finally get revenge, their practical joke is lame and not scary at all. I don't understand how being forced to trick-or-treat forever by jack-o'-lantern people is terrifying. I suppose you would get sick of it eventually, but that still doesn't make it remotely scary. I don't know where R.L. Stine comes up with some of these ideas....

But I enjoyed all the descriptions of autumn, trick-or-treating, costumes and just Halloween in general. And since it made me excited for Halloween to come, I'll give Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns a 2 instead of a 1.


Rating: 2/5

PG gore: "Noooo-!" I cried out as two ugly creatures came snarling through the hedge.

I saw only a blur of ragged fur. Open jaws. Saliva-covered teeth.

Before I could move, one of the creatures leaped onto me, snarling and growling. It shoved me roughly down to the grass. And dug its fangs into my shoulder.

Next week: Fear Street: Halloween Party

MOVIE REVIEW: Rob Zombie's Halloween II

A few years ago when asked if he was going to make a Halloween II remake (or a sequel to his Halloween remake), Rob Zombie replied, "I'm done. I did what I wanted to do, I came in and I made a movie that I thought was a self-contained film and now I'm walking away." And I wish he had. Halloween was an okay remake, but Halloween II is a godawful piece of trash and insult to the original Halloween II (which I love).

After surviving Michael Myers' killing spree, Laurie Strode is trying to get on with her life but is still pretty shaken up. Dr. Loomis has written a book about Michael and is on tour promoting it. And Michael is having visions of his dead mother, who tells him to bring Laurie home.

Near the beginning of the movie, there is a creepy scene where Laurie is in a hospital after her battle with Michael Myers, much like the original Halloween II. It goes on for about 15 minutes and then Laurie wakes up. I despise dream sequences and think they're a waste of time because they add nothing to the plot. At this point I wanted to turn it off and I should've because it was the only creepy scene in the whole film.

I hated all the characters in the film, especially Laurie and Dr. Loomis. They were completely different in this film than in the first one. Laurie is an irritating whiner and I wanted her to die. Dr. Loomis is leeching off Michael's notoriety and actually believes that he's dead! Where's the Dr. Loomis who is obsessed with finding Michael and keeping him locked up of the original Halloween films? You might as well not have Dr. Loomis in the film if he's just going to be a moneygrubbing douche.

Oh wait, I forgot the worst character in the movie: Deborah Myers (Sheri Moon Zombie). Just because she's your wife doesn't mean you have to put her in EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of your movies, Rob Zombie. She died in the first movie! Those stupid visions of her with long, white hair wearing a long, white dress, walking with a white horse made no sense and were completely pointless.

The characters even looked awful. Michael Myers looked like a beefed up version of Rob Zombie and was not scary at all and Laurie had horrid dreadlocks.

As much as I enjoyed House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects I don't know if I'll give Rob Zombie another chance after this piece of crap. Who I am kidding, I probably will watch more of his films - when they air on T.V. for free.

Rating: 1/5

BOOK REVIEW: Horrorween by Al Sarrantonio

I actually started reading this book last Halloween but never finished it. I guess that shows you what I thought of this novel. Actually, the first two parts of Horrorween are interesting, but the last part is pretty dull.

Al Sarrantonio wrote a series of books about Halloween, Samhain and a fictional town called Orangefield. The first was Halloweenland and the second was Hallows Eve. This is the third and is comprised of three novellas instead of being a full-length novel like the first two. The first two novellas are fairly short - about 100 pages each - and the third one is around 200 pages.
The first novella is about a children's author who has a hornet infestation in his house. There wasn't a lot of action but the ending made up for that. I liked the children's book he was writing about a character named Sam Hain. It reminded me of Sam from Trick 'r Treat.

The second novella is about Pumpkin Boy, a half-robot half-pumpkin creation. This was definitely the best of the three. It was creepy, fast-paced and had a conclusion I never saw coming. Sarrantonio should've made this story into a full-length novel and forgot about the other two novellas.

The third novella is about Samhain appearing to three citizens of Orangefield and telling them to do things in order for him to take over the world. There wasn't a lot of explanation in this one. I never fully understood how Samhain planned to take over the world through these people. It dragged along and had very little action (I think this is where I stopped reading last year). And the ending was so anticlimactic. Practically nothing happened at the end when I was expecting a big finish since the rest of the novella had so little action.

Overall, Sarrantonio is a good author, writing fantastic descriptions of Orangefield at Halloween. But his character development is lacking. I never cared about any of the characters in Horrorween.

It's an okay read for Halloween and definitely gets you in the spirit with all the pumpkin and jack-o-lantern descriptions. But if you're looking for something with lots of action and gore or something with interesting characters you might want to skip it.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Trick 'r Treat

Trick 'r Treat was FINALLY released this month. Tons of horror fans have been waiting a looooong time for its release, especially with Halloween here, but does it live up to the hype?

This anthology is comprised of five segments. The first is about a woman who hates Halloween so she doesn't observe certain Halloween rituals. The second involves a man who seems like your average father, handing out candy and carving a pumpkin with his son, but he isn't. The third is about a group of kids who invite an outcast girl to visit the scene of a horrible accident that happened years ago. The fourth is about a young woman headed to a party to lose her virginity. The fifth is about a grouchy old man who refuses to give candy to trick or treaters.

The first segment isn't actually a segment, but more like an opener and closer to the film. I loved the second segment, but I thought it was too short. The third segment was definitely the best, being very creepy and atmospheric, although predictable. I didn't enjoy the fourth story at all. I thought it was dull and predictable. The fifth segment was pretty good, being all about Sam (the spirit of Halloween).

I didn't like how the film jumped around from character to character, especially when introducing them because it was a bit confusing. Although I liked how all the stories took place in the same town and were intertwined, I think it would've been easier to follow if each story was told all at once; instead of showing half of one, then another, and then back to the first.

Even though it's a bit confusing in the beginning and one of the segments isn't very good, it's still a great film to watch on Halloween. Especially since it encompasses everything Halloween is about: candy, jack-o-lanterns, costume parties and more.

Rating: 4/5

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! I hope everyone has a fun night, whether you're trick or treating, partying or staying in and handing out candy. I'll probably just stay in and watch horror movies all night.

I got "Count Bearon" at Sears for 99 cents. Isn't he adorable?