MOVIE REVIEW: Rob Zombie's Halloween II

A few years ago when asked if he was going to make a Halloween II remake (or a sequel to his Halloween remake), Rob Zombie replied, "I'm done. I did what I wanted to do, I came in and I made a movie that I thought was a self-contained film and now I'm walking away." And I wish he had. Halloween was an okay remake, but Halloween II is a godawful piece of trash and insult to the original Halloween II (which I love).

After surviving Michael Myers' killing spree, Laurie Strode is trying to get on with her life but is still pretty shaken up. Dr. Loomis has written a book about Michael and is on tour promoting it. And Michael is having visions of his dead mother, who tells him to bring Laurie home.

Near the beginning of the movie, there is a creepy scene where Laurie is in a hospital after her battle with Michael Myers, much like the original Halloween II. It goes on for about 15 minutes and then Laurie wakes up. I despise dream sequences and think they're a waste of time because they add nothing to the plot. At this point I wanted to turn it off and I should've because it was the only creepy scene in the whole film.

I hated all the characters in the film, especially Laurie and Dr. Loomis. They were completely different in this film than in the first one. Laurie is an irritating whiner and I wanted her to die. Dr. Loomis is leeching off Michael's notoriety and actually believes that he's dead! Where's the Dr. Loomis who is obsessed with finding Michael and keeping him locked up of the original Halloween films? You might as well not have Dr. Loomis in the film if he's just going to be a moneygrubbing douche.

Oh wait, I forgot the worst character in the movie: Deborah Myers (Sheri Moon Zombie). Just because she's your wife doesn't mean you have to put her in EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of your movies, Rob Zombie. She died in the first movie! Those stupid visions of her with long, white hair wearing a long, white dress, walking with a white horse made no sense and were completely pointless.

The characters even looked awful. Michael Myers looked like a beefed up version of Rob Zombie and was not scary at all and Laurie had horrid dreadlocks.

As much as I enjoyed House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects I don't know if I'll give Rob Zombie another chance after this piece of crap. Who I am kidding, I probably will watch more of his films - when they air on T.V. for free.

Rating: 1/5