R.L. STINE BOOK OF THE WEEK: Fear Street: Broken Hearts

Valentine's Day can be a killer.

From the back cover:

Roses are red, corpses are blue
On Valentine's Day, you'll die too!

There's someone out there, someone who kills on Valentine's Day. Josie and Melissa are scared - especially when they receive threatening valentines. Then the murders begin. Who is sending these horrible valentines to the girls of Shadyside High? And who will be the next to die?

My thoughts:

Happy Valentine's Day a.k.a stupid Hallmark holiday made up to make people spend money everyone! For Valentine's Day I read R.L. Stine's valentine-themed Fear Street book, Broken Hearts. This was one of my favourites when I was younger, but while re-reading it I was disappointed.

I was expecting Broken Hearts to be like the films Valentine or My Bloody Valentine minus the gore, but it's not because this is another Fear Street book where nothing happens. No maggot-filled chocolates, or a human heart (or even animal heart) make an appearance. All we get are lame rhyming valentines, for example:

Roses are black
Violets are gray
On Valentine’s Day
You’ll start to decay

While the Valentine's rhymes fail to scare, what happens to Rachel in the first chapter is frightening. Rachel refuses to wear a helmet while horseback riding, and ends up being bucked off her horse, falling on her head. She becomes brain damaged, having to forever act like a child. When I read this book ages ago, it made me paranoid of not wearing a helmet when I should, for fear I would hit my head and become brain damaged - which is worse than being dead.

So most of the book revolves around boring arguments between Rachel's sisters Josie and Erica about who is going to watch her, since she has to be supervised all the time.

But I liked the characters in Broken Hearts with the exception of that skanky bitch Josie. Which just made it more satisfying when she got her comeuppance. I couldn't dislike Melissa, since she has the same name as me. But she dated someone named Luke, which is my brother's name and I found that to be pretty creepy....

The supposed motive of killing someone for blabbing about cheating off her test is ridiculous. I'll teach her not to tattle when someone cheats off her test! If you're smarter than me and sit beside me, that gives me the right to look off your paper! I almost wish he had been the killer, because that would be hilarious. But the identity of the killer was surprising.

I'll give Broken Hearts a 3 because the characters were likable for a change and I was surprised by who the killer was.

Rating: 3/5

PG-13 Gore/Dead Animal of the Week: "The little terrier was on its back, its head twisted to the side, eyes wide in a blank, unseeing stare.
Josie felt sick. She started to turn away, but something caught her eye.
What was that shiny thing in Muggy's stomach?
Pressing both hands over her mouth, she squinted at it. It took her awhile to realize it was a letter opener. A silver letter opener. The letter opener from the desk in the den."

Body Count: 2

Next week: Goosebumps: Monster Blood