An Evening With Stephen King (and David Cronenberg)!

Stephen King is coming to Toronto! He's going to be promoting his new book, Under the Dome and having an on-stage conversation with David Cronenberg, hosted by George Stroumboulopoulos (The Hour).

Unfortunately, when you arrive at the event , you draw a coloured chip and 250 people will get one with the colour that wins the chance to buy a signed copy of the book. If I go, I really hope that I win.

Tickets are $28 and $33. The event is on November 19 at 8:00 P.M at The Canon Theatre, located at 244 Victoria St., Toronto.

It's NaNoWriMo!

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to write a 50,000 page novel by midnight of November 30. The point is to write something without agonizing about the quality and instead focus on the quantity. I have tried for a few years now but can't seem to get used to the idea of choosing quantity over quality. If you're interested and want to sign up or read more about it, check out the NaNoWriMo website.

BOOK REVIEW: Horrorween by Al Sarrantonio

I actually started reading this book last Halloween but never finished it. I guess that shows you what I thought of this novel. Actually, the first two parts of Horrorween are interesting, but the last part is pretty dull.

Al Sarrantonio wrote a series of books about Halloween, Samhain and a fictional town called Orangefield. The first was Halloweenland and the second was Hallows Eve. This is the third and is comprised of three novellas instead of being a full-length novel like the first two. The first two novellas are fairly short - about 100 pages each - and the third one is around 200 pages.
The first novella is about a children's author who has a hornet infestation in his house. There wasn't a lot of action but the ending made up for that. I liked the children's book he was writing about a character named Sam Hain. It reminded me of Sam from Trick 'r Treat.

The second novella is about Pumpkin Boy, a half-robot half-pumpkin creation. This was definitely the best of the three. It was creepy, fast-paced and had a conclusion I never saw coming. Sarrantonio should've made this story into a full-length novel and forgot about the other two novellas.

The third novella is about Samhain appearing to three citizens of Orangefield and telling them to do things in order for him to take over the world. There wasn't a lot of explanation in this one. I never fully understood how Samhain planned to take over the world through these people. It dragged along and had very little action (I think this is where I stopped reading last year). And the ending was so anticlimactic. Practically nothing happened at the end when I was expecting a big finish since the rest of the novella had so little action.

Overall, Sarrantonio is a good author, writing fantastic descriptions of Orangefield at Halloween. But his character development is lacking. I never cared about any of the characters in Horrorween.

It's an okay read for Halloween and definitely gets you in the spirit with all the pumpkin and jack-o-lantern descriptions. But if you're looking for something with lots of action and gore or something with interesting characters you might want to skip it.

Rating: 3/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Trick 'r Treat

Trick 'r Treat was FINALLY released this month. Tons of horror fans have been waiting a looooong time for its release, especially with Halloween here, but does it live up to the hype?

This anthology is comprised of five segments. The first is about a woman who hates Halloween so she doesn't observe certain Halloween rituals. The second involves a man who seems like your average father, handing out candy and carving a pumpkin with his son, but he isn't. The third is about a group of kids who invite an outcast girl to visit the scene of a horrible accident that happened years ago. The fourth is about a young woman headed to a party to lose her virginity. The fifth is about a grouchy old man who refuses to give candy to trick or treaters.

The first segment isn't actually a segment, but more like an opener and closer to the film. I loved the second segment, but I thought it was too short. The third segment was definitely the best, being very creepy and atmospheric, although predictable. I didn't enjoy the fourth story at all. I thought it was dull and predictable. The fifth segment was pretty good, being all about Sam (the spirit of Halloween).

I didn't like how the film jumped around from character to character, especially when introducing them because it was a bit confusing. Although I liked how all the stories took place in the same town and were intertwined, I think it would've been easier to follow if each story was told all at once; instead of showing half of one, then another, and then back to the first.

Even though it's a bit confusing in the beginning and one of the segments isn't very good, it's still a great film to watch on Halloween. Especially since it encompasses everything Halloween is about: candy, jack-o-lanterns, costume parties and more.

Rating: 4/5

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! I hope everyone has a fun night, whether you're trick or treating, partying or staying in and handing out candy. I'll probably just stay in and watch horror movies all night.

I got "Count Bearon" at Sears for 99 cents. Isn't he adorable?

MOVIE REVIEW: Satan's Little Helper

Tonight is Devil's Night, so I'm going to review a movie about the "Devil", Satan's Little Helper.

Dougie is a 9-year-old boy obsessed with a video game called Satan's Little Helper, in which he helps Satan send people to Hell. He's so obsessed with the game that he wants to find Satan for real so he can become his helper. Dougie is also in love with his older sister, Jenna, and is jealous when she brings a new boyfriend, Alex, home for Halloween. But when Dougie actually finds Satan he'll make sure that he sends Alex to Hell.

This is a really fun movie directed by Jeff Lieberman (Just Before Dawn). I burst out laughing quite a few times. I loved "Satan"; how he never said anything so instead he made elaborate hand gestures and his costume. And how Dougie thought that he was living out his video game was pretty funny (when he hits a pregnant woman with a shopping cart he yells "50 points!").

One thing I hated about Satan's Little Helper was the irritating kid. He's nine years old yet he believes that he is going to marry his sister. Why hasn't anyone told him that he can't? If he was my little brother I would teach him about incest.... If Satan's Little Helper was trying to show how desensitized kids are to violence it doesn't do a very good job because Dougie just comes across as a nutcase.

Annoying kid aside, this was an entertaining film. Definitely a must-see for Halloween.

Rating: 4/5

Top 5 Halloween T.V. Episodes

The days of the Halloween special seem to be gone. This year practically all the T.V. shows I watch were repeats this week. What happened? It seems like a Halloween episode of a T.V. show would be fun for everyone, the writers, the cast, the viewers. So I guess I will just have to watch some old favourites. Here are my Top 5 Favourite Halloween T.V. episodes.

5. It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester - Supernatural

I love Supernatual. I had to include this episode because it's about Samhain. A witch is doing a ritual to summon the demon Samhain and Dean and Sam try to stop her. I love the opening scene. A woman puts away candy for Halloween. While she is taking care of their baby, her husband has a piece of candy and blood squirts out of his mouth. Then he removes a razorblade and falls to the floor, spitting up blood, and his wife finds him dead.

Classic Line(s): Sam: Once he's raised, Samhain can do some raising of his own.
Dean: Raising what, exactly?
Sam: Dark, evil crap and lots of it. They follow him around like a friggin' Pied Piper.
Dean: So we're talking ghosts.
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Zombies.
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Dean: Leprechauns?
Sam: Dean...
Dean: Those little dudes are scary. Small hands.

4. Petergeist - Family Guy

Okay, I'm cheating here because this isn't really a Halloween episode. But it's one of the funniest spoofs of a horror film I've ever seen. Petergeist is a parody of Poltergeist. After Joe builds a home theatre, Peter decides to build a theatre in his backyard to outdo him. While he's digging, he finds a skull, which he brings into the house and defiles in various ways (peeing in it, using it as a jock). The Griffin house then becomes haunted and Stewie is sucked into the T.V. a la Carol Anne. This episode features a cameo by Carrot Top.

Classic Line(s): Tom: A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who're they gonna call?
Diane: (Sighs) Ghostbusters, Tom?
Tom: No, Diane, their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.

3. Spookyfish - South Park

This Halloween episode of South Park is shown in "Spooky Vision," which just means it has pictures of Barbara Streisand with "Spooky Vision" written along the edges of the screen. Stan's Aunt Flo gives him a fish as a present and the fish starts killing people. And there's an "evil" Cartman in town, which is actually a nice version of Cartman. The boys realize that they came from the Indian Burial Ground Pet Store and try to set things right.

Classic Line(s): Stan: Dude, my mom's having her monthly visitor.
Kyle: Aunt Flo?
Stan: Yeah, every time she shows up - my mom turns into a total bitch!

2. Slutty Pumpkin - How I Met Your Mother

If you haven't seen How I Met Your Mother, watch it immediately. It is the funniest sitcom I've ever seen. And Slutty Pumpkin is one of my favourite episodes. Ted attends an annual Halloween party on the roof of their apartment building in hopes of seeing the Slutty Pumpkin again. The Slutty Pumpkin is an amazing woman Ted met a few years ago at the same party. How is a pumpkin costume slutty? "It was carved in strategic places." But Barney wants to go to a Victoria Secret party being held on a boat and wastes the night trying to convince Ted to come. Meanwhile, Robin is dating a new guy, but she isn't into doing "couple things," to his dismay. And Marshall and Lily desperately try to win the couples' costume contest at McLaren's.

Classic Line(s): [Barney is dressed as a Devil]
Ted: I have to pee.
Barney: So go to the bathroom.
Ted: No, there's a huge line, and I don't wanna miss the Slutty Pumpkin.
Barney: So pee off the roof. Ooh! Ted. Pee off the roof.
[some guy dressed as an angel turns around]
Angel: Woah. I wouldn't do that if I were you, there's people walking down there.
Barney: Come on, Ted. Who you gonna listen to? Me or Mr. goodie-goodie over there?
Angel: Yeah, whatever, you guys got some weed?

1. Treehouse of Horror V - The Simpsons

It was so hard for me to pick just one Treehouse of Horror because there are a lot of gems, but this one definitely stood out. The first segment is The Shinning, a parody of The Shining. The Simpsons become the caketakers of Mr. Burns' mansion secluded in the mountains. But Mr. Burns cut off the cable and the beer supply, driving Homer insane. In the second segment, titled Time and Punishment, Homer attempts to fix a broken toaster, but inadvertently turns it into a time machine instead. In the third segment, Nightmare Cafeteria, Principal Skinner solves his overcrowding in detention problem by cooking students and serving them in the school cafeteria.

Classic Line(s): Homer: So what do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of "No T.V. and No Beer Make Homer Something Something".
Marge: "Go Crazy"?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!

T.V. REVIEW: Family Guy's Three Kings

I decided to review this episode of Family Guy because it was shown after The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror episode two Sundays ago. At first I thought it was a new Halloween episode, but then I looked it up on TV.com and found out it aired earlier this year. I'm going to review it regardless because the three segments are all Stephen King parodies and I love Stephen King.

Three Kings begins with Peter sitting in front of a fireplace with a book saying he is going to read three stories from "the greatest author of the last thousand years: Stephen King."

The first segment is a spoof of Stand by Me. It shows Peter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland as 12-year-old boys. Peter is Petey LaChance (a.k.a Wil Wheaton), Joe is Joey Duchamp (a.k.a Corey Feldman), Quagmire is Quag Chambers (a.k.a River Phoenix) and Cleveland is Cleve Brown (a.k.a Jerry O'Connell). It's 1955 and the group sets out to find a dead body. They find the body (which is Meg), but the town bully, Ace (Mayor West, a.k.a Kiefer Sutherland), wants to take credit. Even though Petey has a gun, he lets Ace have the body because since they live in the same neighbourhood he'll definitely see him again and he doesn't want to get beat up later. I wasn't impressed with this segment.
The second segment is a parody of Misery. Brian plays Paul Sheldon while Stewie plays Annie Wilkes. Paul recently finished the last installment of his children's book series, Snuggly Jeff, in which he kills off Jeff. Annie (a cross-dressing toddler) is Paul's number one fan and takes him hostage, making him rewrite the book so that Snuggly Jeff doesn't die. This segment was pretty funny. It gave me the biggest laugh of the episode, when Paul hits Stephen King with his car and while in mid-air King says, "This would make a great story," then proceeds to write it. When he falls to the ground he says "Done!"

The third segment spoofs The Shawshank Redemption. Peter stars as Andy Dufresne (a.k.a Tim Robbins) and Cleveland is Red (a.k.a Morgan Freeman). Andy is sent to Shawshank Prison, where none of the inmates like him. He doesn't say two words (literally) to anyone for a month (the two words were vagina boob). Andy asks Red to get him a rock hammer because he claims he likes to carve figurines, but he really wants it to tunnel out of prison. He actually does tunnel out of prison, breaking into a sewage pipe while the warden was watching Friends, hammering in time with the claps in the theme song. Red is released from jail and follows through on a promise he made to Andy to go to a field and dig under a volcanic rock. He finds a box filled with money and a postcard asking if he remembers the name of the Mexican village where Andy said he would be. But unfortunately, Red does not. This was a pretty funny segment as well. I especially liked the part where Andy played Hollaback Girl for the inmates and the song confused them more than anything else.

Overall, I was disappointed by this episode. Out of all the Stephen King works they could've picked they ended up with two that aren't even horror. Granted, those have been made into the two most popular films from his work, but still.... It would've been nice if they chose something by Stephen King that isn't parodied as much. If you want to watch a hilarious parody of a horror film from Family Guy, try Petergeist.

Rating: 3/5

T.V. REVIEW: The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror XX

Two Sundays ago when I turned on The Simpsons as usual, I was shocked to discover that it was a Treehouse of Horror episode! I can't even remember the last time a Treehouse of Horror episode has aired before Halloween. Every year I look forward to the Treehouse of Horror episode even if it doesn't air until November. Last year I posted my Top 10 Treehouse of Horror Segments. But this year I actually get to review the new episode!

The opening was hilarious with classic monsters such as Frankenstein's monster, Wolfman, the Mummy and Dracula walking around Springfield and being teased by the bullies ("Turner Classic Movies called, they want their costumes back.") After changing into more modern costumes (Harry Potter, Jack Sparrow, Iron Man and Spongebob Squarepants) they show up at the Simpsons' Halloween party. When their wives show up, Homer says "It's not cheating if you're wearing a costume," resulting in his gory death.

The first segment was called Dial 'M' For Murder or Press '#' to Return to the Main Menu. It was a parody of Alfred Hitchcock films and shown in black and white. Lisa and Bart want revenge on their teachers Ms. Hoover and Mrs. Krabappel, so they come up with a crisscross plan where Bart will get Ms. Hoover and Lisa will get Mrs. Krabappel. They agree to ding-dong ditch their teachers. Lisa rings Mrs. Krabappel's doorbell and runs away, while Bart kills Ms. Hoover and throws her in the ditch, explaining that you kill the ding dong and then throw her in the ditch. This was a pretty funny episode, especially if you're a Hitchcock fan.

The second segment, Don't Have a Cow, Mankind, is about Krusty Burger introducing a new burger which turns the person who eats it into a "Muncher" (a zombie). But it turns out that Bart is immune to the virus, prompting the citizens of Springfield to find out a way to use his immunity to save everyone. This segment was a bit of a disappointment and wasn't as funny as the other two, but it had its moments.

The third segment was a spoof of Sweeney Todd titled There's No Business Like Moe Business, in which Homer is impaled by the pipes of Moe's microbrew machine. Moe uses Homer's blood as an ingredient in his secret microbrew and convinces Marge that Homer left her because he's gay. But Homer isn't dead.... This segment was great, being a musical with hilarious songs. It also cut away to the audience several times to see their reactions, with Kang and Kodos featured.

Overall Treehouse of Horror XX is a good addition to the Treehouse of Horror episodes and a huge improvement over last year's episode.

Rating: 4/5

MOVIE REVIEW: Night of the Creeps

I've been waiting for a long time for this DVD to come out. The first time I saw it was when I was young and popped an old VHS into the VCR. I can't remember why, maybe to see what was on it before I taped over it, and Night of the Creeps was on it. My mom used to tape movies off TV all the time. I'm so glad she did because it has become one of my favourite horror films. I still have that VHS, but I'm glad it came out on DVD so I don't have to fast forward through commercials every time I watch it.

Night of the Creeps begins in black & white in 1959, with an alien expelling an experiment from its spaceship. It lands on Earth, near Corman University, where a couple is parking. The guy goes to investigate, ending up being infected by space slugs. Fast forward to full-colour 1986. Chris Romero has a crush on Cindy Cronenberg, and he thinks the only way he can get her is by joining a fraternity. So Chris and his best friend James Carpenter-Hooper (J.C.) are asked by the fraternity brothers to get a dead body from the morgue. They end up unfreezing the body of the man infected with the space slugs and inadvertently unleashing the space slugs upon the community.

I don't want to give too much of the film away if you haven't seen it yet (I probably already have). I love how the plot is a mixture of different B-movie plots (aliens, zombies, axe murderers). The dialogue is witty and hilarious ("The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is they're dead."). The characters are very likable and interesting (I had a huge crush on J.C.).

The Special Features on the DVD are amazing. There's an alternate ending, deleted scenes, a commentary with writer/director Fred Dekker and a commentary with the cast, an interview with Tom Atkins, and a lengthy feature on the making of the film titled Thrill Me: Making Night of the Creeps, featuring interviews with the cast, crew and fans. There's also a really cool feature called Trivia Track. When you turn it on, trivia facts will come up on the screen like subtitles while you watch the film.

If this review doesn't convince you to watch Night of the Creeps, check out Stacie Ponder's 10 Reasons Why Night of the Creeps Rules.

Rating: 5/5